It started last week. Somehow the bank had not yet received the two car payments we had sent several days previously (that is to say, they were taking their damn sweet time processing the check). So off we rush to the bank and the local Fed-Ex office to send more money overnight (very expensive to do, by the way) so the beloved bank will not repossess the car (remember, $400.00 already there...not processed) and we rush, RUSH, RUSH them another $400.00. Then we call them and supply the tracking number and check number so they know that we're not lying scumbags. That was Monday afternoon. Tuesday morning, DW calls from work to tell me that THEY TOOK THE CAR!!!!!
Now we have to make arrangements to borrow a car, try to figure out how to get DW home from work (Waltham to Methuen, yeah, right), and back to work until we can find the money to get the car back from the lying, thieving bank people, and how to explain to the Darling Children why Mom and Mom are completely over the edge and having dual meltdowns. That was Tuesday. (and Wednesday).
So, we borrow a car from very dear friends, (THANK YOU, THANK YOU) and the only trouble is that the car is a 5-speed and Debbi DOES NOT drive a standard, thankyouverymuch. This means that I have to get up at the crack of 5:30 in order to drive her to work, (yes, to Waltham) and go back and get her at the end of her workday. I can handle this, as long as I don't have to be human and she buys the coffee.
On Thursday, we get the money thing settled and I head off to the bank and pay the ransom. Now I have to pick her up (in Waltham, in case you forgot) and drive her to the kidnappers towing company storage yard, which happens to be conveniently located in Londonderry, New Hampshire. (I would be laughing my butt off if Crazy Aunt Purl wrote this, but it happened to me, so it's not funny. Stop laughing.) Anyway, I'm off on a mission to rescue my car, but first I need to pick up the wife. (Did I mention that the bank wouldn't release the car to me because I'm not the owner? So sorry.) I'm on Route 95 South in Waltham, just about a half mile from the exit ramp, and the car (borrowed, remember?) starts to do weird things, like not shifting gears and leaving the clutch pedal on the floor. This is not necessarily a good thing. Actually, it caused my second meltdown of the week. I KILLED THE CAR!!! AND IT WASN'T MINE!!! AND IT WAS AN AUDI!!!!!
Do you know how many cars drive on 95 South at 3 in the afternoon? In Waltham? Me neither, they all kept going. It was a lovely walk to the exit ramp (uphill) and another mile to the building in 93 degree weather while still having aforementioned meltdown, and the cell phone ringing because I was LATE PICKING HER UP. Obviously, we were not going to make it to Londonderry that day. I didn't know how we were getting home, so of course we called the same friend who's car was dead on the side of the road (an AUDI, for pete's sake!) and he came and got us (Did I mention they were REALLY GOOD FRIENDS?) and got us home (eventually, after they fed us a wonderful meal, and gave me beer to prevent another episode of OMG I KILLED THE AUDI) and then Thursday was finally over.
On Friday, I borrowed the MIL's car to take DW to work, came back home to get the MIL, and we went to Londonderry to get DW's car (MIL is listed as co-owner). After getting only slightly lost, (there was no sign on the building) we found it, paid another ransom storage and towing fees, and FINALLY got the car back. MIL went to work, and I went home to pretend that none of this had happened. Of course, I had to stop for gas, so I pulled in the station and popped the tank lid. Surprise!!! Our 2002 Hyundai Accent was now sporting a gas cap that very clearly said HONDA on it. Commence meltdown number three. So of course I called the kidnappers towing company and they denied everything. i tried not to let it bother me (HAH!).
And then I drove back to Waltham to pick up Debbi and wait for something else to go wrong. (Of course it did, but more on that later.) And how was YOUR week?
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